Friday, February 10, 2006

The ubiquitous "F" word...

Flash You!

I am forcing myself to revisit my long neglected blog. The poor thing has been languishing for months while I am busy courting newer and more exciting horizons, which is a poetic fashion to say that I am struggling to keep all the alligators in the swamp that I am in at bay. Also, because I cannot leave alone any new trend making waves in the cyber world, I have finally forced myself to learn a bit more about the current rage that has for name the dreaded "F" word: Flash! In case you have been living under a rock, Flash is the long existing internet technology that
people use to deliver information, mostly seductive messages to lure your money away from your bank accounts, just like the US' Internal Revenue Service, but in a more erotic way.

Every time I move about during my daily chores and have to restart my laptop, I have to endure countless minutes waiting for all these Flash beauties to parade across my computer screen before I can really get to where I can start doing something serious, which is surfing the web all day. But, in case you miss the point, I keep a keen eye on the "information" that is being delivered directly to my eyes, my ears, my senses and my brain. I know for certain it won't be long before they will deliver their message to my taste buds and my nose as well, and I hope that day will come before I leave this earth. I can give you one prediction: the guy/gal that can find a way to do that, deliver smell and taste to your computer at his/her command will make
trillion of the currency of his/her choice, and trust me, they will find a way.

In any case, I always try to read the messages being conveyed by for example "AIM today," and you guessed it, they are delivered in "Flash." The content changes every morning and they are all beautifully done. If you are one of those persons who sit all day scratching your head to come up with ideas for your work, listen to me and go watch these ads, you can get great ideas from them, all free of charge, and if clever, you can get these contents all gratis too.

These ads come with beautiful people's images and professionally constructed art works with messages in velvet. These people are indeed very talented and I am sure they are well paid for their work. So, I did my own Flash too, some bad and some not so bad, but I really do not want to place them on this blog because the blog landlord may not like blogger tenants to consume too much of their real estate.

OK. Enough rambling around. You must be starting to ask the question: where am I going with all this? Well, I am trying to figure that out myself, but there is so much to say, and I really need to get this blog over before my chocolate cup gets cold.

I am an ardent fan of all sorts of movies, and I am quite upset at the newest release of a favorite film of mine: The Virgin Spring. I will let you look it up for yourself in case you want to know what this movie is about. I saw this movie many years ago when I lived in Europe where things were much simpler than they are now where I live, in the United States of America. In the US, I got a VHS copy of this movie, then a laser disc copy. To my chagrin, these American versions are about 3 - 4 minutes shorter than what I remembered seeing in the original version the first time on the TV in Europe. Of course, I am not the only person who knows this, and there is quite a bit of discussion about the segments that have been "censored" out of this movie. Talking about hipocrisy and prudishness. The rumor among us cinemaphiles was that the newest year 2006 release will have the misssing scenes restored so I was eager to finally see that the Americans finally come to their senses and relax their grip on the prudish "censorship" that takes away many a great essence from great movies of talented directors.

Well, my latest copy of this movie on DVD is still 3 - 4 minutes short! Aaarrrggghhh... So, I need to vent my frustration, and thus the reason I am talking to you about the "F" word. Did you really think all this time that I am talking about "Flash?" Nooooooo waaaayyyyyy..... And you all know what I am talking about. If you are reading this and are not sure what I mean, look me up, send me an email...

Now, here we are: I am making a Flash movie and know exactly what I want to do. Since I am not going to place it here, I am giving you a text version of what it is about. Its title is of course "The ubiquitous "F" word:" Here we go...

Perhaps one of the most interesting words in the English language today is the word "Flash." Out of all of the English words that begin with the letter "F," flash is the only one that is referred to as the "F" word. It's the one magical word, just by its sound can describe pain, pleasure, hate and love.

Flash, as most words in the English language is derived from German the word "freakken," which means to strike. In English, flash falls into many grammatical categories:

As a transitive verb for instance: John flashes Shirley.
As an intransitive verb: Shirley flashes.

Its meaning is not always sexual. It can be used as an adjective such as: John is doing all the flashing work!

As part of an adverb: Shirley talks too flashing much!
As an adverb enhancing an adjective: Shirley is flashing beautiful!
As a noun: I don't give a flash!
As part of a word: abso-flashing-lutely or in-flashing-credible; and as almost every word in a sentence: Flash the flashing flashers!

You must realize that there are not too many words with the versatility of "flash" as in these examples describing situations such as:

Fraud: I got flashed at the used car lot!
Dismay: Arrgghhh! Flash it!
Trouble: I guess I' m flashed now!
Agression: Don't flash with me, buddy!
Difficulty: I don't understand this flashing question!
Inquiry: Who the flash was that?
Dissatisfaction: I don't like what the flash is going on here!
Incompetence: He's a flash off!
Dismissal: Why don't you go outside and play hide and go flash yourself!

I' m sure you can think of many more examples with all these multi purpose applications. How can anyone be offended when you use the word. I say: Use this word in your daily speech. It will identify the quality of your character immediately. Say it loudly and proudly: "Flash you!"

Flash You!

You must hunt for to hear and see my Flash rendition of the above. It's a "Flashing" beauty! In contrast, the prudished version in print that you saw above lost all of its intended punch, I regret to say!

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